Do children really “grow up more quickly” than they used to? I don’t know. To some extent, I don’t care: I didn’t have an unhappy childhood, but I was desperate to become a grown-up, and I would be surprised if many people felt all that differently.
And while I feel a bit sickened about the mani-pedi parties that have been written about recently, I don’t know that the survey commented on by the children’s author, Dame Jacqueline Wilson, is evidence of anything. In the first place, how can it say anything about “how children are losing their childhood compared to days of yore” unless we know what the quantitative evidence is from “days of yore”, rather than relying on the memories of the people making the claims?
But anyway. Let’s have a look at some of those results:
* 71% of parents allow their children to drink alcohol at home before they turn 18
* 45% of parents let their 16-year-old children sleep the night at a boyfriend or girlfriend’s house
* 53% of children aged 16 and under are permitted to stay out past 11pm
* 35% of parents have allowed their under-12s to pierce their ears
* 71% of parents admit that their children have little regard for their authority
* 55% think that childhood is over by the time their children start secondary school at 11
* 72% of parents confess to giving their children a much easier ride than they received when they were the same age
* 67% of parents are worried about the company their children keep.
So, I considered myself pretty much grown up by 16. My friends felt much the same. I think most 16-year-olds, through the ages, have considered themselves pretty much grown up, even though the law doesn’t agree. Isn’t that essentially what young adult fiction is all about? (That’s relevant, because it’s essentially what Dame Jacqueline Wilson writes, although at the younger end of that market – and she admits that the characters in her books “want to wear make-up and dye their hair and pierce their ears” and that her “fictional teenagers want to stay out as late as possible and drink alcohol”.) But anyway, with the acknowledgment that my childhood wasn’t all that long ago, and that my experience can only ever be anecdotal, I’m going to use my experience and that of my friends to comment on these factors.
Alcohol
As with just about all my friends, my parents allowed me to drink alcohol at home – a sip of wine if they were having it from about 12 (so I knew what it tasted like and didn’t idealise it), and from about 16, a glass of wine if they were having it. My parents didn’t allow alcohol at my parties before I was 18 because they didn’t want to be responsible for serving alcohol to other underage people, but acknowledged that I would be likely to be drinking if I went to another party. They would rather I did so safely at home (or at someone else’s home).
Where someone’s parents didn’t allow them to drink alcohol, that person was still going to be drinking.
Sleeping over
If your parents don’t let you stay the night at a boyfriend or girlfriend’s place, you’re still probably be going to sneak around trying to have sex with them.
My parents grudgingly let me spend the night at my boyfriend’s place – because he lived several hundred kilometres away. At my place, we slept in the same room. At his place we didn’t. At both places, we still got up to what our parents probably would have considered mischief. They turned a blind eye, but were probably happier for us to be having fun safely at home (for the most part) – seeing a pattern? We would have had we lived in the same city, and whether or not we’d been sleeping over. That wasn’t unusual then, I’d be surprised if it’s unusual now – and I don’t think it’s ever been particularly unusual.
Curfews
I don’t really know anything about curfews. I lived somewhere where I relied on parents’ cars (either mine or someone else’s) to get home, so it was a bit difficult for me to stay out late. From the age of 14 or so, our parties tended to be all-night affairs at our homes, with parents picking us up in the morning. My parents were happier to do this than have to go out in the middle of the night. And they knew where I was. But I don’t know what it’s like to live in a town and be able to get myself to and from the movies (or whatever) with my friends. So maybe this has changed. But so what? Again, what about all the anecdotal stories of kids sneaking out (or back in)? Is it really so much worse if parents know about it?
Ear-piercing
So? I’d be surprised if 35% was any higher than in past years. I know many people who had their ears pierced at age 2. If you didn’t have your ears pierced by about age 12, it was likely because you didn’t want them pierced. Ok, a bit of a difference for boys – in fact, if there has been an increase, it’s likely to be because more boys are having an ear or two pierced at a younger age. They’re just catching up with the girls!
Parents’ authority
Ha. Hahahaha. First of all: what age are we talking about? If we’re still looking at teenagers: you mean that 29% of teenagers do have regard for their parents’ authority? Don’t make me laugh!
Because the rebellious teenager is not a stereotype for nothing …
Childhood over at secondary school
(1) That’s only about half of all parents who think that.
(2) Is that different from “days of yore”? The statistic is meaningless (for their purposes) without that, but in any case, my guess is: no.
I don’t know what my parents would have said about me at age 11. But I was catching buses and trains to and from school all by myself from the first day of secondary school. I was often home by myself after school. I had jobs I had to do when I got home.
Kids’ friends
Ha. Hahahahaha. Again. See comments about parental authority!
Easier ride
Um, isn’t this a generational thing? My parents would probably say this. But then, their parents would undoubtedly say the same thing about them. Again: the difference is?
I heard an interview with Dame Jacqueline Wilson about this on the radio this morning, and she was talking about what a shame it was that we (as a society) have lost “the innocence of childhood”. She talked about going on picnics, wearing Clark’s sandals and “oh, I don’t know, drinking lashings of ginger beer”. She had to fish for an example, it didn’t really sound like a memory!
First of all, I suspect that “innocence of childhood” is something that has only really ever existed in children’s books. It certainly doesn’t exist in young adult fiction. That’s kind of the point of the genre – it’s about the loss of innocence and the coming of age! Ok, so in that sense, I suppose it does have some concept of the innocence of childhood. But it’s not always innocence in the way she’s talking about, which seems more of the “why do they grow up so quickly?” lament. In fact, the characters in young adult fiction are often pretty young.
In addition, that childhood innocence she’s talking about sounds suspiciously like the 1950s … the same era that has given us the idealised family and housewife. This simply increases my suspicion that her childhood innocence ideal is something that simply didn’t exist.
Look, maybe they’re right, maybe kids really are growing up more quickly. BUT! I won’t believe it until I see a better study – one that includes comparative statistics! – and in any case, I’m not so certain that it matters.
Wallaby 
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